That afternoon, we went to the steamboat. Honestly, my throat was burning hot and I felt so so uncomfortable. I mentioned so many times, I didn’t want a steamboat. But you know? I feel so sad that even you didn’t care. You don’t realize I drank up a lot water that day right? Haha, I felt very uncomfortable. But you and even my best friends, don’t seem to care. I felt, left out.

Then it was the night, for the first time, I hate John, a lot a lot. And I felt glad that Shi Jie was not there, because he could easily detect how I feel and ask me what happen. I didn’t want anyone to know what happen to me. Because I was weak and anytime my tears would drop. I didn’t wanna spoil you guys’ day. So I talked to myself in my another twitter. Telling myself, Bebe, don’t cry. I tried my best to feel nothing. Well, I did it. By diverting my attention to other thing. But forgetting that you will leave before I finish my first big exam in my passion. And send you off. And help you share your proud. That my Bubu, is one step closer to his big dream. I hate John, cause he kept on talking about these, as if ignoring how much hurt I felt, and keep pressing my throbbing pain.

From the past experiences, if I ever upset about these, then you will keep more secrets in your heart, or lies to me, so that I won’t feel down. And won’t let you down. And you don’t need to ‘tam’ me. Save up every troubles.

But Bubu, I need your assurances to calm my insecure heart. I am a very insecure little girl. I feel freak out by finding out your big things in life through other people’s mouth. I am losing my thrust on you. I don’t know how to tell which of your words are true and which are not. And I can’t bear the feeling of knowing you hide things from telling me.

You won’t know why. Because you never try to understand me. Or maybe she is right. There are too much things I don’t tell you and expect you to know by yourself. You deleted Deborah’s messages. You think I won’t get angry if I can’t read them. But you know, I feel scared that what are the things that are special that you didn’t want to share with me. Or what are the things that between you and her that you think I will get mad if I read it. And then I will be unsecured. I thought you hate her. But in contrast, why are you sending her messages as a friend. How much between you and her that I don’t know? You only think about I forced you to lose her as a friend. Am I right? Hahaha….

Then? You hid your USA university offer from me. I found out through John. At that moment, without any preparation, it was like a blow to me. Bang! And then I am speechless and sad. But you were happily giving me the excuse of, I am finding the suitable time to tell you. Then what if, you choose to tell me on the very last minute? So I deserve being left out even though I should be your closest person?

And then? It was after you hang out with the ‘Sweetness’ group, I angry you because I thought that at that moment of time you must be with your parents and will be back soon. And I can have a call from you. You remember what you did right after this incident? You lied to Mr about your whereabouts.

Bubu, you are the one constantly lying to me. You are the one building up my insecurities. But you feel you are threatened or irritated or invaded or whatever you wanna call when you know I read your Facebook messages.

When I was upset by you because in the FaceTime you only have your time for your game. Or you will be chatting with someone else. And when I want you to talk to me, your focus are not on me anymore. Well, I didn’t want you to only focus on me, but can you respect me? When some times, please give me the attention I needed. You already give up in cheering me up. So I tell myself to change myself. Don’t count on you too much. You are tired from work. You need to relax.

And when I couldn’t sleep, I read your conversation between my best friend. Look at how much stuffs you can tell her. While in the conversation between us, your reply was always short and simple. Then I felt upset. And you felt upset too because I read your messages. So you chose to ignore me. You know what? That night, I cried until the morning. But who knows? Only Bebe knows. And only Bebe cares.

I finally came back here, if she was not by my side, I am certain that I will be so down. When I saw the train, I really felt that the darkness and loneliness have overwhelmed me. I cried in the train. I told you. But you remember how harsh you were to tell me that ‘you have chosen it’…. I am not a man. I need love I need care. But I understand, you already give up in doing anything to make me happy.

You and her are the same, you both think that me is already hopeless. Which is why the things I Carr so much, you both won’t know.

I came back from the dinner, prepared to tell you so many stuffs that I wanted to tell. So many so many. But your mum came in. I understand. I was not upset. But you told me that she is gonna use your Facebook account to do her surprise. I asked, why? And you explained. And then I was mad. And then you were mad too. That I logged in your account while you know nothing about me. Indirectly, you are telling me that I shouldn’t doubt you.

Please.

I didn’t doubt you and her. I just felt that, why if she needs an account, the person was not me but you. Since when both of you are so close? I can swear to God, I didn’t doubt you and her. I only cannot accept that, my boyfriend is lending his Facebook account to anyone. Anyone.

But you know what? You only think that I count you. I am being unreasonable. I am irrational. Hahahahahahahahahahaha….

Then what about you, my best friend. You only texted me with three lines, hey if it bothers you, I am sorry. Then no more. Won’t you think you are so not sincere? If the situation is Ah Lei lending her Facebook account to Bubu, how would you think?

You said it, don’t need care about her.

You said it.

It was until I saw it. And I have decided to remove you.

I thought this will make you care about me. But not just yourself, your surprise. But you know what? I was so wrong.

Bubu, you said to me, I can do such cruel thing to my long long friend. Will I ever do this to you and your mum? And your reaction about me asking your new Facebook account was what other bad stuffs I can do to you.

You wanna know how deeply you have hurt me? You can’t imagine it. Because you and her both think that I hurt both of you. You only think that I am forcing you to lose friends again while she thinks that I have dumped my friendship. But you wanna know what I wanna tell you? Your surprise is build up on my misery. And you blame me for being cruel? Until this point, I never said a single word to Ah Lei about your so called surprise. Till this point, I only feel that, everything is over…. Blame me. Hate me. Or do whatever you can. Haha…. I suddenly lost my love and my friendship in just a night.

She removed me too from her social websites. How lovely? I thought I would cry in the train again…. But suddenly I forgot how to.

Bebe please don’t cry. Even you have stood in the middle of the road, the car won’t hit you just like you wish. He scolded me instead. Even I have swallowed three panadols, it is not working,

You just gonna remember, this too, shall pass….

他是享誉国际的大明星，同时也是她最爱的亲密男友，看他因梦想神采奕奕，就算戏一开拍他就动辄失联大半个月，她也还是全心支持他，甚至因此而更爱他，他喜欢吃她做的菜、跟她聊梦想、拥她入睡到天明，她就每次在他回来时准备丰盛晚餐、微笑地听他飞扬谈天，然後在他再度出门时，送上一句「我等你回来」。

可是渐渐地，她等到的全是他的花边绯闻，她相信他的澄清，只是就算明白拘谨如他不可能会劈腿，她还是无法不在意别的女人对他表现出的誓在必得，尤其当怀孕流产，他却因拍戏不在身边时，更令她开始对这段爱情感到迷惑，其实，她不怕他变心，她怕的是他的世界太过绚丽，让他忘了回家的路……

Everything between us started with this song, I guess.

So when in the future, just, if, we are not together anymore….

Sing me….

“Tell me you love me, Come back and haunt me….”

And I will love you all over again.

No matter how much I have changed, no matter how much you have changed, no matter how much things between us has changed….

I will still love you just like everything has started all over again. 

I forgot to say a “congrats” to you for being accepted in one of the US university. You are one step closer to your dream. 

I was overwhelmed by the blunt thought that you are leaving me, soon. I totally forgot that I should be proud of you and be supportive for your achievement. 

I am sorry. I only care about myself. I am sorry.

Baby, after what we have been through, I am happy that till today we are still holding on.

And, I wanna tell you, yeah, it is for sure, I will be sad over your absence sometimes, I will be sad that you will be so far away from me sometimes, but please, whenever I wanna let go, please hold me tighter.

Promise me you will love me like how you’d always do. Promise me you will find a way for me to see you again. Promise me you will arrange your time and spend some time with me.

And keeps on reminding me, how much you love me.

Because, I wanna be your supporter. I will work my very best to feel proud that you are going there to study and come back as a successful graduate.  I will try my very best to stay happy and not always sad about you not being at my side. I will have faith in us. I will wait for you until one day we can be together under the same piece of the sky again.

Baby, I wanna marry you. So please stay safe and healthy. Enjoy your study life there. And come back fast. 

I love you…. 

I regretted. To the fullest of my stomach. I regretted. That the food was so awful and cost more than my budget.

I like the pink nail polish from The Face Shop, when I finally got the chance to take a closer look at it, I considered myself, should I really get it? Then when mum said “let’s go”, I went off with her. 

And then I regretted. Even till now I still regret for not getting it at the moment.

I want to eat Haagen Daaz yesterday. The Valentine’s Day…. Well, it doesn’t matter on which day, but I just want it. When I saw his face, I told myself, it would be a wise choice to choose some other thing. But not Haagen Daaz. So we went for other thing else.

Same old thing, I came home, I regretted.

So he promised me that today I can get it. You know, unexpected things always happens at the wrong time. I blamed him, scolded him and angry that what did I do that I deserve this. And then, he came. And he gave me that asshole face. That I forced him to come over to satisfy all my wants. So I told myself again, it would be wise to choose not to go for Haagen Daaz.

You know what I wanna speak of?

FUCK.

Fuck everything for trying to be a good girlfriend, a good friend and a good daughter.

Because in the end, all the things I want will not be mine.

I really wonder why did I let go of my decision at that moment.

FUCK THESE SHIT.

Well, I still regret. But what can I do?

去哪？

我应该说，回到我的家乡吗？还是说，我又再次离乡背井，去一个陌生的地方？

我不知道。

我只知道，只要我一停下来，不做任何东西，我就会心疼。疼得我一而再地选择逃避。

我的爸爸妈妈，妹妹，好姐妹，好朋友，还有，那个我好爱好爱的大小孩….

我，要走了。

我的心里有无数种惊慌失措，可是，我却要假装自己很坚强。我终究是要长大的，是要独立的。可是，我心里就是好害怕。

槟城，我生活了6年多的地方，我快要跟你说声再见了。知道么，曾经，我多么痛恨我来到这个小岛。但是现在，这里有我最爱的人。

我好舍不得离开….

我多希望我是无心无肺，离开，也可以做的好潇洒。可是，我就是做不到。

爸爸妈妈，请你们等我，等我以后赚钱了，我会让你们过上好日子，不用再那么辛苦。你们要照顾好自己，知道么。

好姐妹们，等我回来。我一定会回来的。请不要因为我离开了，友谊就变得淡了。

我最爱的大小孩，可不可以答应我，以后不管发生什么事，都不要放弃我。因为，我好爱好爱你。我后悔了，我不应该要求你送我的….我怕自己会舍不得。我只要想起你我之间相隔400多公尺，我就连呼吸都觉得痛。

Bubu, Bubu, Bubu, Bubu, Bubu, Bubu, Bubu, Bubu………..

我要离开了。心里觉得，好像被什么东西扯着，让我好痛，好难呼吸。

多么希望，我可以好像电影一样，说声“不要走”，我就可以抛下一切什么都不管都不要，就留在你身边。

可是，这就是残酷的世界….

The heart wants what it can’t get. Every single damn time.

If there’s a quota to the amount of happiness a person can have within a time constraint, I might have used it up today

遇上无赖最好的解决方式，就是什么方式都不用，因为没用。

风吹屋檐瓦，瓦坠破我头；我不恨此瓦，此瓦不自由

在我需要的时候，能不能，给我点看得见的在乎

很多时候，不经意知道一些事后，表面装得无所谓，用微笑去掩饰，其实心里比什么都疼。

你不是我，怎知我走过的路，看过的风景，怎知我心中的乐与苦。

人生的道路上，有些事只能自己面对，我很想依赖，但必须坚强。

喜欢便是喜欢，不喜欢便是不喜欢，本就清清楚楚，直截了当。

There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen. At the right time, with the right person, & for the best reason.

My alarm clock is jealous of the amazing relationship I have with my bed.

爱一首歌 , 常常是因为某句歌词 但真正动人的不是那句歌词 , 而是在你生命中那些关于这首歌的故事。

有些事，想多了头疼，想通了心疼 。

一颗被深深伤了的心，需要的不是同情，而是明白。

多希望我只是个孩子，给颗糖就笑，摔倒了就哭。不用伪装到面目全非，不用压抑自己的心情。

人生中许多事，只有经历过，苦过，疼过，才能真懂。

但我最想要的礼物并不是钻石珠宝什么的，而是你——

“Whenever you fall, I’ll be there for you.” -Floor

每个男人心中都有一座断背山，你们不这么认为吗？

我的恶劣有一半是你宠出来的

也许我们不一定能走到终老，但仍会谢谢你，曾经给过我最甜美的时光。

我不是不理你，我只是在等你先开口。

每个没心没肺的人，都有一段为某人掏心掏肺的曾经。

真的生气的时候，不是哭也不是闹，而是不说话，不过又有谁知道？

人们伤心，不是因为爱情结束了，而是因为当一切都结束了，爱还在。

朋友就是互相体谅，偶尔几封简讯，偶尔几通电话，偶尔出來吃饭，这就是我们最快乐的時光。

为什么说暗恋那么好，因为暗恋从来不会失恋。你一笑我高兴很多天，你一句话我记得好多年。

一句 “我难受”可以換來谁的一句“你在哪? 我马上到”呢？

苦者对和尚说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。” 和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。” 他说：“可我偏偏放不下。” 和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。苦者被烫到马上松开。 和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事放不下，痛了，你自然就会放下。

有那么一天，有一个人，会走进你的生活，让你明白，为什么你和其他人都没有结果。

人生就像一张有去无回的单程车票，没有彩排，每一场都是现场直播。把握好每次演出便是对人生最好的珍惜。

一个疯狂的男人背后有一个幸福的女人 ,一个疯狂的女人背后有一个伤了她的男人

给我最亲爱的好朋友：如果有一天，你心动了，恋爱了，我不会说什么，只会把祝福給你。如果有一天，你受伤了，疲倦了，我还是不会说什么，只会把肩膀借給你靠。

过去的是无法改变，无法倒回，也无法忘记。唯一能做到的就是接受

最甜蜜的事莫过于，有些人总是能够记得关于你的一些小细节。并不是因为你总是能让他们记起，而是因为他们在意。

Wake up every day stronger than yesterday. Face your fears, and wipe your tears.

什么时候的我们变的如此陌生，陌生的让我想起来心就疼。

有时候，虽然能想明白，但心里就是接受不了。

世界上最疼痛的话是：“我爱你，但是 … …” 世界上最甜蜜的话是：“… … 但是，我爱你。”

就讓記憶回到那天的那個夢

再活一遍那段過去的那分鐘

一個人低頭 一個人祈求 太空洞

我還不相信 我不相信 連夢都失控

愛那麼傷 傷那麼重 我不想 我不懂

天那麼冷 心那麼痛 我承受

你那麼走 走那麼久 走遍放縱的自由

路那麼長 手那麼空 誰在乎

你喚不回 放下這負累 自由飛

走了不要追 就連呼吸都不對 無所谓

一個人低頭 一個人祈求 太沉重

我還要答案 我還要習慣 好困難

愛那麼傷 傷那麼重 我不想 我不懂

天那麼冷 心那麼痛 我承受

你那麼走 走那麼久 走遍放縱的自由

路那麼長 手那麼空 誰在乎

愛那麼傷 那麼重 我不懂

心那麼冷 那麼痛 我承受

童子瑜，高贵优雅童家长女，她是童氏继承人，於是白慕轩卑鄙地逼迫童家，让她成了自己的未婚妻，订婚夜更直接强要了她的初夜。十年相识，五年婚约，她与他的相处模式永远没有变过，他强势主宰，她乖乖听话，谁知乖乖女第一次顶嘴，竟然是对他说，她要解除婚约！白慕轩，体格棒，长相养眼，虽然性格强硬得让人不敢接近，不过身为公司的执行长，权倾半边天，女人爱他的人更爱他的钱。尽管他不去声色场所，不爱逢场作戏，身边还有未婚妻，那又如何？
　　 有钱的男人哪个不花天酒地，可惜，白慕轩偏偏哪个女人都不要，就要童子瑜这女人夜夜帮他暖床！只是这个被他娇宠惯养的女人，对他总是一副不冷不热，从来不会贪心，不会要求，恼得他浑身不对劲。感情这东西，他付出多少，就要回收多少，既然联姻是他逼的，人是他强要的，那他再对她霸道一次又如何？想跟他解除婚约？她这辈子想都别想！

不嫁我，你嫁谁

任之源，年近三十，公司不小，管的人也不少，偏偏就管不住他家隔壁的钱念念，在他看来，这女的有点懒散，有点小坏心，还总是爱在嘴上戏弄他，占他便宜，可他却对随性可爱的她心动了。虽然，他这人平时很低调，但对自己看上眼的女人，他的强势占有慾，可是高调到不行。钱念念以为任之源这男人斯文内敛，谁知，他竟是披着羊皮的大色狼，在她家，他哄着她上床；

　　 到他家，他索性直接扑她上床，活脱脱是头不知餍足的野兽，让她招架不住地扶着酸疼的腰，恨不得将他给踹下床。什麽？这头大色狼离过婚？前妻还对他念念不忘？钱念念瞪着眼前的任之源，乱吃飞醋的吵着要分手，谁知，这平时看来只会宠她的男人，竟然霸道冷声说：「你已经是我的女人了，要分手，不可能！」

对你来说，是不是一种解脱？

终于可以摆脱了我。

呵呵….

我总是不明白，当你不开心的时候，我就算很累我也心甘情愿的陪着你。

但对着我闹别扭的时候，你只会发我脾气。

我对你来说，算什么？

我现在明白了。