The harder I try

I am trying so hard to get you out of my mind…. I talked, I laughed, I joked, I studied, I sang, I screamed…. I did whatever I can just to leave my mind blank and empty… So that I won’t have anytime to think of you….

When the girls asked me out, I never think twice and just got out….

Out for lunch… We talked we laughed…. I really felt so happy…. Even after that I went for a movie with the girls…. I don’t want to stay alone in library and think of you…. I know I will definitely do that… But I won’t allow myself to do so….

I don’t want to break down….

I thought it was a success…. ‘Cause everytime when I wanted to think of you…. I waved it off….

Not until when I sat down on my bed….

I couldn’t forget your smile…. I couldn’t forget your voice…. I couldn’t forget about you…. I couldn’t I couldn’t I couldn’t….

My heart was badly shattered…. I can’t take in anymore pain…. Why is the harder I try to push you out of my mind, the worse I got?

Why? WHY?

I am in a lot of pain…. I don’t even dare to be alone….


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