Apparently, I am having a very lifeless life…. Sleep till late afternoon, turn on laptop and browse through some websites, read some books, watch some movies…. And, nothing more…. Lifeless, ain’t it?
But, I am okay with it. Not very happy, not very sad, but I can live with it.
As long as I don’t have to feel my sadness. Then I am fine.
Bubu, do you realise, pictures of you in USA…. You are not happy? In Dropbox, everytime I rebelliously deleted our pictures, and I would feel regret and I would spend few hours to upload it again. The “Bebe & Bubu” file, our memories…. You wanna see the difference in you?
Lim Chun Qi, do you know when you said, no one in this world understands you even me…. Maybe someone else will do.
You want to know, HOW HURT IT IS?
So in all those pictures that you and me together, YOU WERE FAKING YOURSELF ALL THE TIME?!
When you are not happy, I am not happy too…..
Last night, it rained again. And without any reason, or maybe deep down into my heart I know the reason, I cried. My tears were like the running tap, I couldn’t stop.
If I can choose which memories to be remembered and which to be forgotten….
I wanna forget myself.
I wanna forget you.
I wanna forget what is between us.
I wanna forget, I am in pain….
I asked, how long still I have to endure with these dark days?
Who the hell knows?
For once, I feel glad that the day was dark. And you couldn’t see me. Then I don’t have to worry about how ugly I am….
Wanted to tell you, I love you. Then I am afraid. I am afraid there would be awkward silence between us.
I felt so scared you wanna remain in USA after graduation…. But then I remember, I am your nobody….
I wanna forget myself….