For you

You wonder why am I so forgiving….

Well, maybe I am not. Because I want you to stay. Because I am still selfishly wanting you to stay.

I used to be someone who demanded care and love from people around. I used to put my happiness in the hands of others. I used to disregard what others’ emotions are, I just wanted all my heart asked for.

But I realised, I need to love myself more so then others will love and respect me.

So beside loving myself right, I want to love them back, love them right.

And taking good care of myself, just be myself and do everything that I love to, are how I love myself.

It is not that I don’t mind you didn’t know what you want for now. But because I have been through this and I know how exactly you feel. Back to that time, I wanted people to accept that I was in a mess and I couldn’t get over it so soon. I needed people to to be more forgiving.

Embarking on a long distance relationship certainly poses great challenges to both of us. But for once, I say thanks to social media because for the least I could feel closer to you.

Screw the guilt you feel.

Because all I want is to show you how to feel like, what it feels like, to be hugged, to be kissed, be thought of and to be missed.

I see that you’re breaking, your heart is breaking.

Idiot, romance is not black and white.

It is you who painted the romance you have given me in all sorts of colours one could name.

And sadly, my heart allows only you to gimme such romance.

It’s okay stuff is messy.

No matter how it turns out, love does not have to be perfect. Just worth it.

You worth for everything that I have and that I could have.

For you and for myself, I stay strong and happy. Because I know you smile when I do.

Find yourself. Be yourself.

Take my hand if you still want to.

Never mind that I am so stubborn.

I just want to be your warm sunshine giving you some warmth.

Lastly, I hate you.


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